So I realize lately I haven’t written a whole lot about my daughter Emma. It seems to me that since she is seven months old now, all she’s really been doing is the same general thing all babies do, so people won’t really be interested in reading it. But this time is going to be over soon, and it’s the little things in life that you need to cherish. And as basic as each of her current skills is, I love every single one of them and celebrate them.
It all started the day she was born. That’s when I figured out she’s probably going to be an evil genius. She was only a few hours old and laying in her little crib/cart thingy and my wife was standing over her, taking in the beauty. I was at the window, just checking back in with the world that I had ignored completely since 5 p.m. the previous evening. That’s when I heard a small gasp/scream from my wife and I whipped around and crossed the room as fast as possible. This little thing, only a few hours old, dropped her binky out of her mouth, then grabbed it and put it back in. As if she had done it a thousand times.
Since then it’s one thing after the other, and now she’s sitting up on her own, babbling and laughing and carrying on. She’s growing faster than we were expecting and it’s wonderful. At seven months she’s now in 12 month clothing and her feet are too big for any of the shoes we’ve bought her. All of a sudden I have the overwhelming feeling of how soon she’ll be standing, and then walking. Soon after will come throwing of things, and talking proper English. Not to long after that will be her first day of Kindergarten, and then not far off will be her graduation from High School.
You always here about how things go fast, and then it happens to you and it’s a real trip. The thing that’s different though is that most parents fear it, but I don’t. I honestly accept it and cannot wait to see how she will grow and what kind of woman she will become (for the sake of us all, she’ll be just like her mother.) There will be days when I miss how small and cuddly she was (we already do) and it will probably bring a tear to my eye. I’ll be the first to admit I’m a really softy when it comes to these things, and especially when it comes to my daughter. Lord knows she has just about complete control over me.
There is only one thing that I fear, and that of course is what all Dad’s fear: I want to be a good Dad, and fulfill my role in her life.
Despite all of my failings, I want to be a good Dad. The best Dad. It probably won’t happen that way, and it’s natural for kids at a certain age to rebel against their parents and spout things off such as “I hate you”. I accept that this will more than likely happen between my daughter and I because lets be honest, I can be an asshole sometimes. But I hope we make the best of it. I hope to do as my Father has done, that when reaching the end of his being my parent, became my friend.
I’m not asking for a Daddies Girl, and I’m not insisting that I’m trying to pay off for future support from her when I’m old and decrepit and need support for the last handful of years of my life. I just hope that I’ll always be in her life, and her heart. I’ll do the best I can.
But enough with the future-talk, we’re in the NOW! And this is some of the happiest times in my life. Every time I walk into daycare, she and I lock eyes and I am immediately met with smiles and dancing. Those wonderful blue eyes in that tiny little head rattle a little bit with excitement (she’s still working on her balance.) The way she does some of the same things I do.
When I play with her, of course I do the “I’m going to eat you” thing and then excitedly pretend to bite her all over. She laughs hysterically every time, and the smile that dances across her face is amazing. What’s even better is when I have her sitting on my belly while we chill on the couch and she starts doing it to me! She’ll scrunch up her face and do a little yell then dive bomb my chest with her face and do chewing motions with her mouth. Then it hits me…..
She’s learning things from me. Which is great and all….but she’s officially started picking things up that I do, tendencies are now all game and I need to officially cut some out. I’m not ashamed to say I pick my nose on occasion; sometimes blowing your nose into a tissue just isn’t enough. You got to go up there and get it. But now that the little one has started discovering her face and all the things she can do with it, it makes me a little nervous. She’s gonna pick it up from somewhere anyway, just like how she’ll come to me or my wife and ask us for the definition of a “no no word”. But now that it’s a reality, it’s weighing a little heavier.
Anxiety? Yeah a little bit. But this is life happening. This is a little girl growing up and new experiences must be had. I’ll do my best to guide her but while I’m at it, I’ll sit back and enjoy the little things.